I'm curiously observing the different ways people are taking in this quarantine. Some are loving the change in pace, the quality time with their family, the release of expectations. Others are having a difficult time with the new normal, missing the security of what they knew before, and overwhelmed by the new demands put on their life. But underneath it all, regardless of where we are each at, lies a sense of uncertainty for what the future looks like. We've all got it in sight. I hear expressions like 'when this blows over,' and when 'things go back to normal.' Beneath it all, however, there seems to be a consensus that things will different than what we knew before the Caronavirus hit. That a shift is happening that will alter the future into something different than the past we knew. And we all sit here, in the cue, waiting for that future to come. I've said it myself and I have heard it numerous times, I can't wait until this is all over. I can't wait until the world starts up again. Especially on those hard days, when we are overwhelmed by the fears, anxiety and overwhelm before us.
It hit me, the other day, how much time I, and many around me, spend waiting for the future. Not just now, but I have spent much of my life in this state. Always waiting for the next big thing, and when I had nothing to look forward to I would start to feel depressed. The realization of how much energy I spend on this makes me kind of sad. It makes me realize how much of now I am missing out on when my head is in the future or past, wishing for something different than what is in front of me. This grass is greener mentality is rarely satisfied, and when it is, it is fleeting. So when that time comes, we can only speculate what will be and no matter how miserable you feel in the current situation, there is no guarantee 'when this all blows over' that it will be any better. Will we just find other problems to obsess on? I tell you, I have been pretty darn good at that, especially when things are hard. Maybe there is a survival strategy in this, to maintain some kind of hope in getting through tough times. But I can't help but notice when it starts to take away from the appreciation of the now. If our lens is so focused on what's going wrong, and what we want that we don't have, what are we not seeing? As long as we are waiting for something different, I believe we will never really relish in the present moment, and if we spend a lifetime with this lens on, we never really gain or maintain an appreciation for the life we have. Because now is all that we really have, the past and future are only in our imaginations. And trust me, sometimes you need that imagination to get you through the day, but it is my hope that you don't spend most of your time there. Because I know as much as anyone the disappointment and depression that can manifest through this lens.
So what if we stopped talking about when this is all over? What if we were told the rest of life would remain as it is now? How does that change our realities? How does that change our daily life, the things we focus on, the current view? I can't help but wonder, would we do life differently? Would we notice the things we have to appreciate more? Would we be more present with our families? Would we start to focus on new opportunities, do more things we love, show more support and love to others. Wait...I see that happening already.
So, I propose to the world out there, rather than asking what we are waiting for, to a subtle rewording of what are we not waiting for?
Its funny how when options are taken away from us, others come into clear view. These options have always been there, but suddenly they are not camouflaged by the plethora of things that we previously used to define ourselves. Like the future. And public opinion. Now we are seeing ourselves differently. Have you noticed you forget to look in the mirror some days, or choose a completely different wardrobe when you dress for yourself as opposed to others? Have you noticed you have different expectations of yourself when you feel the world is not watching? It is a bit of a relief, isn't it, removing the expectation of who you think the world needs you to be, look like, do? It is here, that we start to connect with who we really are, beneath the public persona we put out there. I think this is important to notice. To pay attention to the comfort it brings you to choose according to yourself rather than someone else. This awareness in contrast allows us to see how far we remove ourselves from our authenticity to be seen a certain way, to fit in. And while, perhaps, there is a degree of our public persona that serves us, we can see how much it can take away from us too, from feeling comfortable and belonging. It is a hungry seeking that is never quite satisfied. Because the food we are feeding ourselves is made of cardboard, its not real. It'll never satisfy as long as we are eating cardboard. We will make up for it in ways we aren't aware of until we find out what the real food is. To know what it is like to provide what you are seeking for yourself. To bring on feelings of love through your connection with your own heart. To realize, with the right tools (you already have them), you have access to grace, compassion, love for yourself any time you need it, if you are willing. And to be in charge of validating yourself. Now that's security.
It hit me, the other day, how much time I, and many around me, spend waiting for the future. Not just now, but I have spent much of my life in this state. Always waiting for the next big thing, and when I had nothing to look forward to I would start to feel depressed. The realization of how much energy I spend on this makes me kind of sad. It makes me realize how much of now I am missing out on when my head is in the future or past, wishing for something different than what is in front of me. This grass is greener mentality is rarely satisfied, and when it is, it is fleeting. So when that time comes, we can only speculate what will be and no matter how miserable you feel in the current situation, there is no guarantee 'when this all blows over' that it will be any better. Will we just find other problems to obsess on? I tell you, I have been pretty darn good at that, especially when things are hard. Maybe there is a survival strategy in this, to maintain some kind of hope in getting through tough times. But I can't help but notice when it starts to take away from the appreciation of the now. If our lens is so focused on what's going wrong, and what we want that we don't have, what are we not seeing? As long as we are waiting for something different, I believe we will never really relish in the present moment, and if we spend a lifetime with this lens on, we never really gain or maintain an appreciation for the life we have. Because now is all that we really have, the past and future are only in our imaginations. And trust me, sometimes you need that imagination to get you through the day, but it is my hope that you don't spend most of your time there. Because I know as much as anyone the disappointment and depression that can manifest through this lens.
So what if we stopped talking about when this is all over? What if we were told the rest of life would remain as it is now? How does that change our realities? How does that change our daily life, the things we focus on, the current view? I can't help but wonder, would we do life differently? Would we notice the things we have to appreciate more? Would we be more present with our families? Would we start to focus on new opportunities, do more things we love, show more support and love to others. Wait...I see that happening already.
So, I propose to the world out there, rather than asking what we are waiting for, to a subtle rewording of what are we not waiting for?
Its funny how when options are taken away from us, others come into clear view. These options have always been there, but suddenly they are not camouflaged by the plethora of things that we previously used to define ourselves. Like the future. And public opinion. Now we are seeing ourselves differently. Have you noticed you forget to look in the mirror some days, or choose a completely different wardrobe when you dress for yourself as opposed to others? Have you noticed you have different expectations of yourself when you feel the world is not watching? It is a bit of a relief, isn't it, removing the expectation of who you think the world needs you to be, look like, do? It is here, that we start to connect with who we really are, beneath the public persona we put out there. I think this is important to notice. To pay attention to the comfort it brings you to choose according to yourself rather than someone else. This awareness in contrast allows us to see how far we remove ourselves from our authenticity to be seen a certain way, to fit in. And while, perhaps, there is a degree of our public persona that serves us, we can see how much it can take away from us too, from feeling comfortable and belonging. It is a hungry seeking that is never quite satisfied. Because the food we are feeding ourselves is made of cardboard, its not real. It'll never satisfy as long as we are eating cardboard. We will make up for it in ways we aren't aware of until we find out what the real food is. To know what it is like to provide what you are seeking for yourself. To bring on feelings of love through your connection with your own heart. To realize, with the right tools (you already have them), you have access to grace, compassion, love for yourself any time you need it, if you are willing. And to be in charge of validating yourself. Now that's security.
So we realize we have a choice. To keep waiting for the outer world to change so that we get the things we have, in attempt to gain some kind of control over it. Or to start unlocking and exploring what is inside of us, so we can see and make the most of what we already have. It's just a subtle shift in where we are looking. It really is that simple. Not easy, but it is simple, and incredibly rewarding to take your own power back. And when that happens you find your unshakeable.
So with that I ask, what are you not waiting for?
