Tuesday, 21 February 2017
Lesson From My 6 Year Old
Lost in my head, I was sitting on the living room floor while my 6 year old daughter sat across the carpet playing. She looked at me and gently ask "What are you thinking about, Mom?" I hesitated. Do I be honest with her or make something up? Do I filter it? How do I simplify it for a child to understand? But before I knew it I found myself explaining to her "I'm thinking about how hard it is for me right now to take care of you guys when I'm having a hard time dealing with all the thoughts in my head & all the things I feel inside." Without blinking she says, "So how can we fix this?" My heart started to fill up. "I don't' know, Scarlett, that's what I'm trying to figure out." "Well maybe I can help by taking care of Archer." The rest of my heart filled up & so did my tear ducts. Wow. In the midst of all the doubt & inadequacy I have been fighting with, this. Reassurance. We have created & shaped this little person with more compassion & empathy than you could ever imagine fitting into that body. Suggestion that maybe, just maybe, I am doing it right, nurturing her to become the best version of herself. Her capacity to carry strength for me in my moments of vulnerability astonishes me. Reaffirmation of the worthiness that I struggle to find in myself on a daily basis. A much needed reminder that I am doing enough, that I am enough.