People are Kind

Today started out as one of those 'I just want to curl up and stay in bed and not talk to anyone all day' kind of days. But the crumbs of something I had recently read about how it never pays to stay small must have been lingering, so I dragged my hardly-put-together self and the little guy to the grocery store upon my husband's request. On good days I have had some of my favourite encounters with strangers at the grocery store, but today I wasn't into making anyone else's day, I was just getting the job done, dragging my feet in the process. An hour later my cart was full of strategically stacked groceries, carefully in a tower, so I proceeded to the checkout, feeling some relief in the idea of going home.

The woman behind me in line, about my age, had two young kids who were constantly demanding her attention, while Archer sat quietly observing his surroundings. As I packed up I secretly admired her patience in juggling the tasks of unloading her food, keeping her toddler from jumping the cart and responding to the chain of questions and statements that come with having a preschooler. As she started to load up I noticed we were packing our groceries into the same brand of tote and I thought about commenting on her taste, but voted against it as I didn't feel much like making small talk. We kept to ourselves and she finished before I did, loaded her kids and started to go, but then came back. She asked if I wanted any help loading up. I gracefully declined and said something to the extent of "Oh, I'm good. I only have one kid here today, but thank you." This gesture caught me off guard, surprised at the thought that I was the one who needed a hand when she had her hands more full with an extra kid, and got to wondering what it was that inspired this offer. Maybe it was the worn out expression on my face or my withdrawn disposition that she saw and related to days like this? Or the brief moments of eye contact made a couple times in the isles as we passed one another, relaying a sense of understanding for this messy-young-family phase in our lives? Or maybe she caught a change in mood when at the till I was interrupted with a phone call from the Kamloops RCMP with questions regarding the estate of my sister (who passed away 7 months ago). Or maybe it was simply that we were both wearing toques. I can't say for sure. But I'm convinced whatever motivated her to go out of her way to offer help to me, even with her hands full, stemmed from a perfect combination of intuition and empathy. I thought about this gesture all the way home, its simplicity and the impact it had on me, lifting me from the depths of 'Jessland' into this blog post.

It turns out I didn't need the help packing up, but I did need the offer. It was the little boost that I needed to release me from the spiral of self-loathing, so I could get on a little better with my day. It was a renewed reminder of the goodness of people, on a day I when I was swallowed by habits of self-defeat and dwelling on my relationship struggles - a switch in focus. I started to recall other incidents I've had in the store that left me feeling impacted. Like, for example, a couple months ago when a lady I didn't know complimented the way I looked (apparently I was having a more put-together day that time) during a time I was contemplating/doubting my style, and it really boosted my confidence in my wardrobe choices and self-presentation.

These acts make me want to do better. Better for myself and better for others. They remind me to pay attention to that little voice nudging me to connect with that person beside me. You never know what's going on in someone else's world, or how badly they might need a little kindness in their day. A gesture you may feel is ordinary could be the very thing that prevents them from going home and crawling into bed for the rest of the day. It could be the thing that inspires them to do something randomly good for someone else when that person needs it most. Even the smallest of impacts can lead to a ripple of kind-doing, with an incredible potential to create lasting impactful experiences. And then, in the accumulation of all the little moments of goodness, the world becomes a better place for everyone.